The secrets that define us
by Mergana Pendragon
Summary: This is my little Fanfic of what was going through Morgana's head during the series five finale. ONESHOT! DARK merlin! (or at least in morganas point of view.


**I would also thank Querty616120 for beta'ing**

**This was thought of a few hours ago and I couldn't help but write it! It's a bit off the series but what fanfiction is by their series historically accurate. Enjoy! **

Morgana's POV

Arthur was finally going to meet his end, and if I got it my way so would Emrys. How many times had Emrys slipped through my fingers because I didn't know he was right there the whole time? Now he would meet his doom. Tying the horses to a tree I realized that something was wrong.

"Where are they?!" I shouted in frustration. "Split up, find them!"

Keeping on my path I walked slightly deeper into the forest to the edge of the ravine, only to hear a soft thud like a foot touching the ground. I turned to see Gwaine, who looked far too confident. _You fool; you're going to help me find Arthur._ I smiled at the thought.

Suddenly I felt a blade in my side. It hurt badly, but I knew it wasn't going to kill me; I was a high priestess, after all. I turned, using magic to throw Percival off his feet, then did the same to Gwaine. I stalked over to Gwaine, ready to make him pay for attempting to murder me.

"Did you really think you could outwit me?" I said, the mocking smile evident in my voice.

A voice inside my head that sounded like Arthur's goofy, clumsy manservant Merlin whispered "_But they did outwit you..."_

I had had enough. It seemed I was constantly hearing Merlin's voice, judging my every move since I'd left with Morgause. Soon I'd put a stop to it.

I had tied Percival up some ways off to two trees that made the perfect posts, but Gwaine would be staying with me. If he knew I was going to be here, then he probably knew where Arthur and Mer- no, Emrys, not Merlin- were.

"Now, Sir knight, you're going to tell me what I need to know," I said, hoping he'd let me torture it out of him instead of breaking immediately. It would be _so _much more fun that way.

"I'd rather die!" He said with as much spite as he could muster.

_Pathetic, _I thought.

"You shall have your wish, as soon as you've told me what I need to know. Where are Arthur and Emrys heading?"

Gwaine looked slightly confused, but held his composure.

"Oh, did your best friend Merlin never tell you he was a sorcerer?" I said, feigning a look of pity.

Gwaine suddenly looked more confident.

"Don't think I'll fall for your lies!" Gwaine spat, assuming I was lying. _Please, _I thought, almost indignantly. _I tell the truth for once and he doesn't believe me. Idiot._

"You deceive yourself if you think that Merlin has been completely honest with you. Haven't you ever wondered how Merlin knew stuff everyone else didn't? Or how a clumsy servant could live through things not even you or any of the strongest men would have? Face it- Merlin's been lying to you this whole time. I wouldn't blame you if you hated him for it."

Gwaine glared up at me stubbornly.

"Secrets are what define us. Our darkest secrets are the bit of our souls we don't want the world to see. If you can't handle being lied to, then you're weaker then I thought," Gwaine said in a rare moment of wisdom.

"Merlin knew of my magic and yet he did nothing! He stood in the shadows watching me fear every word that was ushered about magic. And when the time came, he poisoned me! He left me for dead 'till my sister healed me," I said, furious that the man _dared _to call me weak. He had _no _idea what I'd been through, what I'd had to endure!

_"You know why. And did you ask him if he ever wondered how I knew stuff? What about Morgause? How did she know how to save you? How did she know what poison I used? Don't kid yourself by saying she's extremely smart, Morgause didn't know a thing about poisons or medicine. In the end there is only one way she could've gotten the antidote. I gave it to her so that she would save you. If I wanted you dead I would've put a sword in your gut..."_

Merlin's voice of reason in her head had become much darker, tinted with part of her personality after she had found out he was Emrys.

"I wonder why that is." Gwaine said sarcastically, bringing her back to the present.

_"He's trying to stall, Morgana, don't listen!'_ This time it was Morgause's voice she heard, commanding her to stay focused.

Morgana was tired of everyone telling her to 'do this' or 'do that'; she could think for herself. But she knew what Morgause had said was true.

"That's enough chit chat." Morgana said, pulling a box from seemingly out of nowhere, and opened it. "I'll give you one more chance to escape the unimaginable pain that the nathair will bring you. Where is Arthur heading?" I asked, my voice dangerously low.

Gwaine immediately refused. _Good, _I thought with a sense of dark satisfaction. _Now the real fun can begin._

As strong as the knight was, he only lasted three bites from the nethair. The oh-so-brave knight told me that Arthur and Merlin were riding towards Avalon. I ordered the nethair to finish him off. Unlike the torment of the serpents poison, the serpents' death bite draws the pain away, giving the victim several moments of peace. Too bad- it was rather entertaining to watch him suffer.

I set off as soon as Gwaine was as good as dead. The horse ride would normally take a day from where I started, but I used a slight time spell to slow time down around me and my horse, allowed us to get there hours early.

Arthur and Merlin were leaning against a rock as Merlin gave him water. I needed a distraction so that my entrance was ten times more dramatic, and to help me remain unseen 'till I wanted to enter. Then I remembered the snake that had scared my horse years ago, causing me to fall off -which had probably been Merlin's doing, now that I thought about it.

I recited the spell, relishing the comfortable, warm feeling that engulfed me as I cast my magic out, my eyes burning a molten gold.

I walked towards there little camp, waiting for the horses to notice the snakes. It didn't take long. The horses reared and stomped, and I helped them, untying the ropes that tethered them to a couple of large trees.

"Whoa!" Merlin yelled as the ropes snapped and the horses ran free.

Time to make my entrance.

"Hello, Emrys."

Merlin turned just in time to see the gold of my eyes before he was harshly thrown back. I turned to Arthur, seeing him struggle to move.

"Not so tall and mighty now, are you Arthur? You're going to die by Mordred's hand, but don't worry, dear brother- I won't let you die alone."

Behind me I heard the sound of a sword being unsheathed and turned to see Merlin pointing it at my heart.

_"That servant thinks he can kill you that easily?" _It was Morgause again.

_"You'd do best not to underestimate me, Morgana."_ Merlin's voice combated that of my sister.

"I blame myself for what you've become." Merlin said aloud.

_You and your annoying voice inside my head, _I thought.

_"I'm not him. I'm the Merlin you lost when you joined Morgause, the Merlin you loved, the Merlin you killed."_

I covered up my uneasiness with a smirk.

"No mortal blade can kill me!" I smirked triumphantly, right before he plunged the sword into my stomach.

It hurt much more then a normal blade should have. My side burned, as if the heat of a fire was being released from the sword. This is what I imagined the sword created to kill Arthur would feel like. I now understood why Arthur hurt to move. _If it hurt me in this way, how much did it hurt him?_

"This is no mortal blade. Like yours, it was forged in a dragon's breath," Emrys said before taking the sword out and letting me fall to the ground.

As I looked into Merlin's eyes I could see Emrys, his darkest secret, the part of his soul that he hid from the world.

"Goodbye, Morgana," he said.

_"I'm the Merlin you _**_lost_**_, the Merlin you_**_ loved_**_, the Merlin you_**_ killed." _****T**he voice in my head repeated in a whisper **_"And now," _**The voice paused for effect, "_the Merlin you've created has_**_ killed you."_**

**A/N: Please review and tell me how I did, it would make my day! Hope you liked it. I would also thank Querty616120 for beta'ing for those of you who skipped the top.**


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